“The only place one should find solace is within oneself” -Siddhartha Gautama Buddha
I am not a long practicing stoic, nor a perfect solo act out in the world, but if there is one thing I know for sure, it is that the ability to strongly stand alone is the key to a well-lived and well-loved life. There is, by far, no greater fulfillment than the power we find within ourselves through accomplishing our goals. No greater feeling experienced in the human condition than the flow we tap into while engaged, challenged, and motivated by the obstacles we decide to face and overcome. ‘Goals’, in my opinion, are a modern fancy word substitute for ‘living proper’.
Goals, though. Geez. What a terribly worn out word. ‘Goal-setting’ is the flat squirrel on the road to purpose and I assume, in this analogy, the white dashed lines would be ‘time-management’. Goals are no mystery. “An aim or desired result”, as Webster’s would put it.
“If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.”- Jean-Paul Sartre
Let’s emphasize one thing: We can’t lose sight of the purpose of our goals, they are for us. That vast array of things we want to accomplish, people we want to meet, jobs we wish to have, legacy we hope to set– void of a personal meaning, become mere emptiness. We have to be mindful of what we want.
However, is withdrawing into yourself selfish?
Self-improvement is NOT selfish. In a way, you are setting yourself up to help as many people as possible. Refer to the key pillar of life-guarding. It goes something like, “If someone is drowning, make sure that you have a flotation device before jumping in”. Now, why is that important? So you don’t drown too! It would also be nice if you knew how to swim. Point being, can’t help too many people stay above water in this world if you don’t know how to swim.
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.” -C.S. Lewis
Now, it would undercut my message today not to hit on narcissism or a total lack of humility. I think we often view a focus on the self as narcissistic. It is not. Although it can be sometimes. Narcissism would be empty goal achievement, a mere self admiration for checking a box. A purposeless, unintentional and immoral striving for things that do not matter.
Goal achievement, however, is an individual journey that multiplies on itself as we use what we learn to teach others. Starting with the discipline that arises from practicing solitude and self-sufficiency. Oddly enough, the discipline and resulting wisdom that follows can impact the world infinitely outside of ourselves. It is inherently selfless, not selfish. Even if we don’t interact directly with people, we can serve as an example of exemplary effort. A man trying their best.
So go accomplish your goals, focus on yourself, achieve those things for you and for your reasons and your purposes, and perhaps you may inspire others to find theirs along the way.
