Of the three things that drive man’s happiness (autonomy, competence, connection), connection has always taken the cake. Our idea of the self, the world, and our future is almost always oriented in a way that emphasizes our impact on or mere connection to other people. It is crucial to the success in our lives and others that we are harmoniously intertwined.
“We came into the world for the sake of one another” – Marcus Aurelius
Our advances in human psychology have only concreted ancient, enduring, timeless concepts of interconnectedness among our peers. From ancient buddhist ethics in the East to current individualist movements in the West– the value we place on our moral interaction with others holds primary importance in our science, our art, and our philosophy.
“If you want to change the world, start with yourself” – Mahatma Gandhi
The truth is that human beings are walking mirrors, copycats, and harmless imposters. All we do, arguably all we know how to do– is copy one another. There lies a severe lack of creativity among us, at least it seems. All of us try to emulate greatness. We have parents, friends, coaches, role models, celebrities, or experts we draw from that give us a framework of our goals and expectations. Ways we ought to go about living our lives. Again, guided by our connection to each other. Think, who is modeling you?
In that process of social adaptation we typically discover our own competencies, our own individual greatness. We become ourselves in our attempt at emulating greatness. We find our strengths and weaknesses, our likes and dislikes. This is likely the process we discover our talents, preferences, tendencies and unique value. And when we fall, we fall among the company of the greats we have been trying to become.
“The most honorable thing a man can be is he who he pretends to be”- Socrates.
Our inspiration and courage, as Simon Sinek once put it, is NOT something we dig down deep for, “it is external”. We learn that the motivation to be courageous and inspire is the result of the level of courage and inspiring acts of others. To inspire, we must be inspired. The strength we need can be found readily in observation. Explicitly seeing that the previously impossible entities in our minds are being brought to life grants us the idea that we, too, can achieve them. In our own way. All thanks to the connection and the lessons we learn surrounded by friends.
So start being the person you’re pretending to be, there’s honor in that. And the people around you will be grateful that you at least tried.
