“…sometimes you can’t resist throwing on that old worn out no-good set of beliefs about yourself before you leave the house.”

What keeps you from moving forward?

One of the most important lessons that I’ve learned from my mistakes is that they are mine. They belong to me. I guess it is deeper than that though. Not quite as simple. Ownership is more of a process than just talking to yourself in the mirror like everyone wants to tell you.

I want to talk about the dark side of ownership. Celebrating failure proves there is a bad way to own our failures and carry them around with us. You know the feeling. Think about that person at an event or a bar or party with that negative sort of energy… usually a fearful insecurity. Think about when you have been in places where you’ve noticed it in yourself.

So, why did you take it with you?

Whether it’s a networking event, a business proposal, a date, a bar, a party… Many of us wear our best clothes, we smell great, wear some nice shoes, pack the classic phone, wallet, and keys. But sometimes? We can’t resist throwing on that old worn out no-good set of beliefs about ourselves before we leave the house. I call this the “Suffering Letterman”.

When we face failure, our brains are wired to remember it. Our amygdala and hippocampus are closely linked. Fear and memory, memory and fear, back and forth. Helps us recognize that guy from the news that’s wanted for murder, the music from that horror movie we hated, or that smell of food we got sick from that one time. But does this primal wiring control our lives?

If you let it. Sure? But it doesn’t have to.

Gordon Willard Allport, one of the first American psychologists to take a look at personality, took a biological approach to our behavior. Challenging Freudian concepts, he believed we are not ruled by our unconscious forces. He argued, if we choose, we are not slaves to our past at all. That we are NOT prisoners of childhood conflicts and past experiences.

Instead he proved over and over again, we are inclined to be hyper-focused on the present. We are oriented towards growth and opportunity. It is really the undealt-with fears and insecurities we choose to retrieve from our past that hinder our growth.

Why we choose to throw this suffering on ourselves has a lot of philosophical speculation. Why we bask in the suffering might be plain attention-seeking, brain chemistry, ignorance, an attempt at creating an identity and so on. But I know one thing, this practice doesn’t serve anyone.

So I ask you, what unfinished business do you have on the inside that’s holding you back from bolstering your business out here? Do the grudges, regrets, grief, insecurities, or fears that you can patch on mean more to you than winning? I doubt it! Take that jacket off.

Own those fears and insecurities and start accelerating your vision today.

Aspire to Inspire Greatness.

Being a good individual is important to all of us.

Being unique, authentic, “one of a kind”.

But how original can any of us actually become?

Now, we all know the more cynical line, “There are no original ideas”. However, I argue that maybe what we are really saying is that there are no original words or phrases to describe something. We have reinvented the way we use timeless knowledge for thousands of years.

Musicians, scientists, philosophers and other artists struggle the most, finding a balance between using the weight of their influences and discovering their own style. It is hard to escape the what is and the what has and to step into the realm of what if and what else. But every innovator, groundbreaker, and pioneer can easily list off who helped them, inspired them, educated them, mentored them over their lifetime.

Steve Jobs would have told you that it was Bill Cambell who coached him through his time at Apple. Using his expertise to create phenomenal company culture and driving ambition.

John Mayer might list off a variety of blues artists like Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jimi Hendrix, and BB King, Eric Clapton. Some of which he was able to directly learn from and derive his modern phrasing of blues and even performance technique.

Ryan Holiday, owner of the Daily Stoic and renowned author, is notorious for his distillation of past stoic writings and stories from the autobiographies of this world’s most influential people.

They were all honest about where their inspiration, technique and writing came from. Yet it doesn’t seem to dull their glow as brilliant artists and creators.

My point is, if you look around you and you are looking for it, these people are not tapping into some mythical land of creativity. They are innovating, however brilliantly, old dusty ideas. They are studying and emulating the past behind closed doors and then presenting a sometimes unrecognizable modern product.

“Successful people get credit for the work they do behind closed doors”- Tony Robbins

Whatever you are trying to achieve, it has been done before. The process of tapping into that part of yourself, the planning, the strategy, perhaps even the exact timetable and half hour itinerary. So how do we find it? Books, podcasts, friends, here with us at Kykeon ;).

But seriously, anyone, anywhere, with anything. Use the infinite knowledge that is surrounding us and start putting it into action. And most importantly, find someone that has failed and succeeded at whatever endeavor you are about to start.

Aspire to Inspire Greatness.

The Suffering Letterman

Using People

LifeCoaching

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