Perfectionists struggle because they overthink, over evaluate, and constantly find themselves in a state of analysis paralysis. Perfectionists that don’t try? They find themselves perfectly mediocre. Perfect at being conservative, certain, and safe. Perfect at being just barely enough, stable, and empty. Perfect at avoiding obstacles, perfect at avoiding fear, and ultimately perfect at avoiding growth.
“Problems are the gifts to which we grow”- Tony Robbins
What is perfect? It doesn’t exist. The concept it represents is ideal, not real. You can not be an ideal. We can merely be close. That is true. But, in the end, we determine what is fulfilling. Your idea of perfect is a social construct, and so is mine and they don’t match up. It is just the channel you have likely subscribed to in your life for many just reasons. However this is not the agora, so I digress.
It is said that our greatest fear is rejection. Rejection as an absence or exclusion from someone or something in one way or another. Rejected and absent from a life of love. Excluded from society. Rejected in the eyes of a creator/ God. We fear that our lives will be absent of this approval. You fear that you will be rejected for who you are so, in defense, you strive to be perfect.
But what we really fear is not being enough. Enough to be loved, to be accepted, to be adored, looked up to, smiled back on. That we matter enough to leave a legacy. I say it is because we feel rejected for the things we didn’t do, perhaps the things that we have not yet finished. We don’t feel like we are good enough to earn this approval from others. We believe we are not worthy of some ideal standard.
We aren’t. You aren’t. I am not. But guess what? Neither is anyone else. Nobody leads a perfect life and you are not going to be the first. But you can strive to mitigate imperfections by tackling obstacles. Acquaint yourself with the enemies within and around you. You can only run so far with weights around your ankles and maybe your weights are a constant unrealistic desire to become a you that you can really never become.
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles…” -SunTzu
The answer? Try things. Get out and do. Go out and be. As Taco Bell says, “Live mas”.
Know your doubts and know your faith to overcome them. If you don’t have the perfect plan, you still try. Trying is fundamental to achieving. Trying is the best approach to any problem you have. Trying is perfect. Faith is perfect. Neither guarantee success, but the resilience to keep on trying and keep faith even when it seems impossible? That is as perfect as it gets. If we don’t try because we are afraid our effort won’t be perfect, we would surely find ourselves in a very imperfect place. Lazy, apathetic, and disheartened more often than not.
If we played a game we always knew we would win, we would certainly stop enjoying it. Perfectionism is not a virtue. It is a myth. One that has likely been discouraging you from living, so stop trying to be perfect and start trying to be better.
Life is ambiguous and uncertain. It’s a gamble and you can take your chances. But I promise if you try your very best and you courageous enough to execute even the smallest imperfect plan when others won’t. That is momentum, inspiration, achievement… perhaps even perfect.
